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Phone Cards and Drugs. [entries|friends|calendar]
Will I ever see my spine?

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(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

romantic in the far and distant way. [11 Jan 2011|10:19am]
[ mood | . .eh. . ]

I have this tendency to romanticize the past, but when I reflect on it with journal entries, I feel a sense of embarrassment. I think I miss the people more than any other aspect. I miss spending my nights in a jeep with Tim, or at a Denny's with Omega. Of those two people, one is dead and the other resides in Hawaii. . And I'm stuck with the realization that those times will never come back and I'm going to college in Kansas. I love Brian, but sometimes I wonder if I'm happy - if he's happy; if I'd be happier elsewhere, or if I'll always find mild misery with my surroundings. If that's the case, what do I do to rectify this sometimes prominent funk I find myself in?

(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

learnard st. [12 Apr 2009|02:00pm]
[ mood | on the road. ]

today seems so full of potential.
how often do i feel this way?
not often.

(Call me a liar)

when you cry. [15 Mar 2009|10:19am]
[ mood | over and out. ]

Freeze. Don't move.
Getting on back through time.
In the end, Pavement's right..
Everybody needs a shady lane.
My shady lane is the graveyard. Loving that fact endlessly.
Being an introvert is under-rated. I'll say it.

(Call me a liar)

revisited. [09 Mar 2009|05:03pm]
[ mood | iced. ]

I definitely feel like a Bob Dylan song.

(Call me a liar)

in my mind. in my heart. [09 Mar 2009|04:55pm]
[ mood | on second thought.. ]


fifteen weird and random things perhaps you'd like to know...
1. i'm an older soul. that is, my interests are common interests if you were around in the 1960s.
2. married. it's enlightening and definitely a delight.
3. i love dead men.
4. my dream job is to be the groundskeeper at Oak Hill Cemetery. Maintain the beauty.
5. my best friends range from being an astronomy student in Hawaii to being the eleven-year-old that i nanny.
6. the travel bug is a permanent disease with me.
7. you will have a better understanding of who i am if you hear the song "brand new key," by melanie.
8. you might very easily mistake me for the third member of the white stripes. nothing wrong with that.
9. i've done it all for love. and love didn't do it for me. until i met someone able to apply new meaning to the concept.
10. i love animals. sometimes more than i care for people. especially owls, bats, snakes, and cats. and octopi.
11. i sincerely wish i were a witch.
12. it's my mission to revive the flappers.
13. i would've made a great girlfriend for a romantic outlaw.
14. death surrounds me and sometimes it's ok. but sometimes it really hurts my feelings.
15. i just want to have dear friends. especially near me. i would adore that.

(Call me a liar)

third man business. [18 Jan 2009|09:35am]
[ mood | oh wow. ]

So, god damn it.... The White Stripes.
They have to be, by far, my favorite band still going.
Partially because it's hard to find a band that agrees with your wardrobe..
All because they're flaming incredible.
Every song, beyond absolute devotion to perfection.
It's... Amazing.
So what's this hostility with Jack White? Hm?
I'm talking out of having seen a special regarding talented guitarists (& singers, & all parts of the band) and even those arguably undeserving of being mentioned were praised, but Jack White? Scoffed! Whatttttt???? What's that business?
Just because he rocks modern blues like it's nobody's business...
I mean.. The nerve.
But, to shift the conversation to a positive...
The same special speaked highly of Dave Grohl on the drums. I mean, like it's an option though? Dave Grohl is immaculate conception on the drums guitar music. Seriously!

Also, Bill Hicks.
Mmmmm....
 

end.

(Call me a liar)

road to nowhere. [17 Jan 2009|03:05pm]
[ mood | just maybe. ]

i really need to use this journal more often.
such neglect for my first love. what a sigh i owe.
all of my life, wanting to grow up.
married. twenty. fucking preschool teacher.
it's so disgusting how quaint it is.
but, one knows, i embrace it.
it all suits my varying passions.
but i'm in kansas? half gross, half coated in glorious mystery.
just wanting to get back to some fucking roots.

(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

run for your life. [31 Aug 2007|03:05pm]
Frustration plantation.


fuckingendfuckingendfuckingend.

(Call me a liar)

biding time. [03 Jun 2007|07:46pm]
i feel so horrible about old things.
past things.
i long for things that are total secrets.

(3 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

positively fourth street [03 Jun 2007|07:35pm]
If you're so special, why aren't you dead?

(Call me a liar)

1967 is 2007 is billions. [22 May 2007|09:53am]
"I Me Mine," - the Beatles.
All through the day, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
All through the night, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
Now they're frightened of leaving it
Everyone's weaving it
Coming on strong all the time
All through the day I me mine

I-I-me-me-mine, I-I-me-me-mine
I-I-me-me-mine, I-I-me-me-mine

All I can hear, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
Even those tears, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
No-one's frightened of playing it
Everyone's saying it
Flowing more freely than wine
All through the day I me mine

I-I-me-me mine, I-I-me-me mine
I-I-me-me mine, I-I-me-me mine

All I can hear, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
Even those tears, I me mine
I me mine, I me mine
No-one's frightened of playing it
Everyone's saying it
Flowing more freely than wine
All through your life I me mine

(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

most adoring. [22 May 2007|09:52am]
[ mood | days of war, nights of love. ]

"Possum Kingdom," - Toadies.

Make up your mind - decide to walk with me around the lake tonight.
Around the lake tonight/by my side.
By my side.
I'm not gonna lie, I'll not be a gentlemen behind the boathouse.
I'll show you my dark secret.
I'm not gonna lie, I want you for mine.
My flesh and blood - My lover, be my lover (yeah).
Don't be afraid, I didn't mean to scare you.
So help me Jesus.
I can promise you, you will stay as beautiful..
With dark hair and soft skin - forever.
Forever.
Make up your mind.
Make up your mind and I promise you - I will treat you well, my sweet angel, so help me Jesus.
Give it up to me.
Give it up to me.
Do you wanna be my angel?
Give it up to me.
Give it up to me.
Do you wanna be my angel?
Give it up to me.
Give it up to me.
Do you wanna be my angel?
So help me!
Be my angel/be my angel/be my angel.
Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die?
Do you wanna die?
Do you wanna die?? Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die?
Do you wanna die?
I promise you - I will treat you well, my sweet angel, so help me Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.

(Call me a liar)

face to the wall [22 Nov 2006|10:51pm]
everywhere people stare, each and every day. i can see them laugh at me, and i hear them say "hey! you've got to hide your love away."
how can i even try if i can never win?
gather 'round, all you clowns. .let me here you say.

(Call me a liar)

strange days indeed [06 Nov 2006|07:02am]
it's six am and i'm still awake. i've been confessing my insides all night and it's not that i feel either better and drainer or full of more and impatient to continue confessing. it's this weird medium that could possibly be something unto itself. . it's me realizing that i have everything to confess, but only because i want someone to understand. understand why i say the things that i do when the wrong thing is in fact said to me. understand where some of my fears were conceived. it goes on in different directions. 
i wrote my love a six-page letter that i have every intention of reading to him, perhaps rather shortly - i haven't decided that part yet. it seems that he likes, or doesn't mind at the least, when i read him my letters. .i think i like that, too, because i feel like a composer, performing their piece. no neumes to indicate any pitch or melody because the rhythm is within and flows like water as my lips and tonue and mouth move, illustrating the sounds that form the words that define my feelings, thoughts, etc. thankfully, i ended the letter pleased with myself, which will perhaps make reading more natural, and less awkward and i maybe won't stutter so bad like i do sometimes with him.
i am just a pensive little girl. i hear that it can be really quite adorable at times, but who knows.

(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

not a problem: a talk-rock album(?!) [01 Nov 2006|04:31am]
 Hey, it's Halloween.
What's going on, The Pixies?
"Ed Is Dead," - The Pixies
Her head is in a bitter way
Her brains on fire
Shes just looking for the perfect wave
Its her brains desire
Ill think of her when I walk the strand
On this true hormos a night

Ed is dead (4x)

Shes just rotting in stupid bliss
With music on her bars uh
Her face burning in the l.a. sun
She got no got no fear of cars
I better kick my strand cruiser
To the friendlier oh oh oh oh oh oh

Ed is dead (4x)

Ed is dead
Ed is, yeah ed is
Ed is dead (3x)
E.i.d. (3x)

No, no, no, no, no

(3 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

gravity rides everything [07 Oct 2006|12:32pm]
Cecil B. Demented gives me a warm feeling inside. I like it a fair amount, John Waters.

(1 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

blah, blah, blah [26 Sep 2006|05:43pm]
[ mood | rules are: there are no rules. ]

sometimes, the most heavy and satisfying lyrics come from misinterpreting the original ones.

(Call me a liar)

be you. [25 Sep 2006|07:01pm]
[ mood | it's okay. ]

Well if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are
And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are
Chorus:
You can do what you want
The opportunity's on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it undo
You see ah ah ah
It's easy ah ah ah
You only need to know
Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are
And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
'Cause there's a million things to do
You know that there are
Chorus
Well if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are

(2 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

for no one. [06 Sep 2006|07:13pm]
[ mood | pure. ]

i wish you i were dead.

(2 Couldn't get much higher |Call me a liar)

blinking red. [01 Sep 2006|09:35pm]
[ mood | wah. ]

he's gone. i can't go on.
please. help. me.
i can see you laugh at me. .
(::feeling two foot small::)

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